I Can’t Even Give 20%

Yesterday, I woke up completely exhausted and laid in bed later than I have in a long time. We had therapy at the house at 10, and I literally didn’t even pull myself out of bed until 9:30. After the road trip we had this weekend, and spending all day Monday unpacking, doing laundry, and cleaning house, I was ready for one of those lay in bed all day in my comfy sweater while binge watching The Real Housewives, kind of days, jk NOT happening. I had a slew of errands to run and a ton of stuff to catch up on. Once our ST left, I was just ready to get the boys out of the house and get my errands done so I could get home and have a real shower that included washing my hair. Honestly, when I was pulling out of the driveway, I thought to myself, “Seriously, don’t even look in the mirror, you won’t want to leave the house. Don’t do it, don’t do it, NOOOO, why did you look? Ugh, I better not run into anyone I know. I need one of those HOT MESS tees on right now, at least it will let people know that I am aware of the state I was in when I left the house.”

hot mess express

Our first stop was Hobby Lobby, and I was ALMOST at the point of walking to the front to checkout but, I saw one of my girlfriends who I really just couldn’t bare to turn away from because I actually, REALLY, wanted and needed the socialization with another mom.  The first thing I said was something along the lines of excusing my appearance  but, after about 10 minutes of letting our littles destroy the isle, we got into a discussion about the time we have to put into our friendships. She’s a new friend to me but, I feel like she’s one of those moms who just “get’s it”. I would LOVE to spend a ton of my time at the local park, letting my kids run through the fields, sipping mimosas, and having mom chat with a group of girlfriends while we all wear our big derby hats but, let’s be real here, the only place that happens is in a magazine or with the ladies who reside on Wisteria Lane. I briefly said that I really can’t handle friendships anymore that need 50% of my pure, undivided attention. It’s not that I don’t want to, or that I don’t care about my friends but, I don’t have enough time in every single day to chat it up with one of my girlfriends, much less a handful of them. She knew what I was getting at by my comment, and actually made me feel so much better admitting that she doesn’t even have 20% which is honestly more of a realistic number for myself as well. She’s right, we put 100% into our husbands, 100% into our kids, about 10% into ourselves, and that leaves, well, negative any percentage for friends.

I try, I really do, just because I don’t text or call you on the regular does not mean I don’t think about you or our friendship. There are so many of you, a lot whom I hope are reading this, that I am sure often wonder while seeing my posts to Facebook or Instagram, if I even consider us friends anymore. I DO! I love all of you, even those I haven’t talked to in years, and I am so sorry that I just don’t get in touch like I should but, I do think of you and I see you on FB and IG and totally debate whether or not to cyber stalk you by blowing up your feed with a million LIKES.

I am still at an age where half of the people I know don’t have children or husbands yet, and the rest of us are trying to still figure out this whole parenting thing. For those of you who are currently living with the freedom that is the single, no children life, I must warn and excuse some of the behavior of us lucky ladies who do have an awesome bundle in our home! We don’t mean to come off rude, desperate, or full of excuses but, sometimes it just makes us feel better when we apologize for our actions or those of our children! SO, on behalf of my mom pals:

Please excuse us for apologizing more than a handful of times for our messy homes and sloppy appearance. If you randomly drop in on me and come knockin’ on my front door without AT LEAST a 2 hour warning, chances are I won’t let you past my front room and if you do happen to get past me, I will be apologizing for every single room in my house. Now, you’ve been warned.

I know you want to hang out and say it’s totally fine if I bring my kids but, just going for dinner, or walking around the mall is NOT a fun time with two little cuties tagging along. No, it’s packing up snacks for what seems like would feed an entire country, loading up kids into car seats, lifting my enormous limo stroller into my vehicle, which have you seen me try to do that? Fun times, really FUN TIMES. It doesn’t even fit, I have to kick and squeeze that thing into the trunk and it barely closes! Once I have my kids out the door and remember shoes for my toddler, as I am backing out of the driveway I realize I don’t even have shoes on myself. We haven’t even left the house yet! SO, if I decline or ask if you just want to come here, it’s not that I don’t want to go walk around aimlessly with you for three hours helping you look for an outfit for your Christmas Party, it’s that I can’t even concentrate enough to get out the door, much less give you my opinion on that sequin skirt you’re about to buy.

When you call or text me in the middle of the day, no, I’m lying. When you call or text me ANY time, I can guarantee you that I will not be having a 2 hour catch up conversation with you on the past 3 weeks of your life. I wish I could but, with my kids screaming in the background, I have already missed the first 5 minutes of what you just said. Chances are, by the time we hit the 10 minute mark I have passed a few snacks into the backseat to my toddler, made a bottle for my little, sent a few quick texts to my mom who has also been blowing up my phone, run through the bank, and pretty much heard about 1/4 of what you’ve said. When I interrupt you mid conversation to tell my 2 year old not to kick his baby brother, it’s not that I am trying to find a reason to get off the phone, it’s because I LITERALLY have to get off the phone. Maybe try to email me? You know you’re a mom when you heavily rely on email for most of your socializing. I can track all my conversations, refer back to them, concentrate easier because i can read what I am saying, oh and BONUS* it can be done with screaming children!

I know when you ask me how I am doing that you’re asking about a general synopsis of my life right now but, the only thing I have for you is about my kids, maybe my husband a little but, mostly my kids. As much as this post may come off as complaining, it’s not. I love my babies and  all of the squealing, screaming, squiggling on the walls, laughing, crying, funness that is being a mom! They’re the ones I spend all of my days with so, when you ask what’s going on in my life and I reply with ten minutes of how I love that my littlest baby is already crawling, that’s why. If you were looking for some juicy reality TV worthy gossip whelp,  you’ve got the wrong lady. lady!

Mommas and Gal Pals, let me know in the comments below if you have more to add to this post!

Thanks for reading!

kisses THH

One thought on “I Can’t Even Give 20%

  1. Hey Stephanie!
    I can COMPLETELY empathize with you on 99% of this post! I sit in my car right now outside of Target writing this with a baseball hat on (going on GASP day 4 of not washing my hair!) Although, I barely talk to most of my girlfriends on the phone or even text/email we do make it a point to have girls nights every so often to keep our sanity! I’m fortunate that I live near almost all of my friends that I grew up with and we’re all moms, most working moms, so it’s easy to catch up after weeks of not chatting sometimes, but nailing down a date we can all get together is a challenge but it’s a MUST in my opinion! Even if you have “new” friends its so worth it to do dinner or even a drink every now and then to feel like yourself again, in my opinion! PS – your Chloe + Isabel jewels should be coming today so I hope that puts a smile on your face!


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